Open your heart, He said. Follow Me, He said. Let Me be the one that guides. ________________________________________________
________________________________________________ If you had asked me when I was days from turning 30, if I would have two young boys, be 30-weeks pregnant and caring for a newborn; all at the same time; I wouldn't have believed you. I wouldn't have thought I could handle it. Truth. I can't handle it. Truth. He can sustain, and He has got this. If you had asked me even just a few weeks ago, I wouldn't have expected this. But, "My thoughts are nothing like your thoughts," says the LORD. "And my ways are far beyond anything you could imagine" (Isaish 55:8). These ten tiny toes have altered my heart in ways that I never would have known. They have transformed our family, and taught us how to love in a new way. This sweet little girl has forever changed us. We don't know how long she will be a part of our family, but we have been, and are so thankful for the time we have had with her. She is a blessing. She is wanted. She is loved.
Truth.
Truth, today has been an emotional day.
Truth, God is still good.
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When you're walking through the adoption process, your heart is being stretched. Each step, each family's experience, is completely different, and yet so beautifully similar. See adoptive families choose love. They are making the choice to love children that haven't experinced, or need to learn again what love is. "Every adoption is a miracle. After all, it is God working things out so that a hurting orphan finds his or her way into a family with open arms. It is the building of families in a way that allows God's plans to play out in a very real way" (A Treasury of Adoption Miracles).
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Every adoption is a miracle.
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This last week we asked you to pray. To pray a simple prayer. We prayed too. God answered; although He didn't answer perhaps in the way our hearts were hoping. Today we learned that a little girl will be placed in her forever home, just that, that home is not ours. Forever. We learned today that two twin boys will be going home to live with their older siblings, who have been previsouly adopted. They will be in a new forever home, but will grow up with some of their siblings. Forever.
That's beautiful.
That hurts.
But, that's God's plan.
We can totally see that. Although our hearts and home were ready and waiting for a, "You have been chosen," we believe that God answered our prayers, and the prayers of so many of you.
These children are going home.
Home.
They are too young to comprehend their loss, but they will grow to learn all that they are gaining: security, love, family, siblings and hope. Because some couples chose to love, these little ones will now know what love is for the rest of their lives. So thankful for that.
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They are too young to comprehend their loss, but they will grow to learn all that they are gaining...
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After sharing this news with our parents, my dad reminded me that, "...you WERE selected twice before..." So amazengly true. Our hearts are waiting to welcome new children, but we are ever thankful for the sweet blessings of our children we get to shower with love each day. Our boys have taught us what it means to love, reguardless of how we feel physically or emotionally. We were chosen to be their parents, and for that we are so grateful.
Truth.
Truth, today has been an emotional day.
Truth, God is still good.
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A Treasury of Adoption Miracles by Karen Kingsbury
Those were the words our case worker spoke this last week over the phone. These could be potentially life changing words. Amazing words.
You see this last week, we have felt, and witnessed the power of prayer. Just a couple weeks ago we had recieved an email that made adoption seem like a dream that would have to wait for awhile. We started to pray, "God, Please move in a mighty way. Make something happen, so we know You are in this." He has done that. Within days of writing and praying about our situtation, and where our hearts were, crazy things have taken place.
Prayer is powerful. Prayer is mighty even when we don't really know what to pray. After getting off the phone, all my mind and heart could pray was, "Dear God, Ok You have got this. Help."
That simple prayer has been re-prayed over and over since then. And I am totally okay with that, beause I know that it's good enough.
Help. Help us make the choices we need to this next week. Help by praying.
Although we can't share those choices that are pending right now, we ask that you would join us in simple prayer. We are confident that God is moving in a powerful and mighty way. He is bringing beauty out of broken lives, and we get to witness it firsthand reguardless of the outcome.
Little kiddo's storys' are moving forward; and for that we are so thankful.
"Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus."
Have you ever gotten one of those emails? You know the ones that once you finish reading, your mind is blank, and all there is, is a giant question mark. We recieved one of those a couple weeks ago.
"...traditional adoption thought is that it's not best practice to place children for adoption in families with children close in age...I believe you have a lot to offer a child..."
?
There it was in black and white. Something we'd actually already been wondering about. Were we not being concidered because we already had children? Yes. My heart already knew that was the answer from some comments we'd heard previously, but to see it written was a shock. Our two sweet boys have walked this adoption journey the past two years with us. They haven't been a hidden part of our family, and they are valued members. Shock.
Then it hit me. This was not a shock to the Lord. The Daddy of all orphans, mommy's and daddy's; the Lord that is in control of each step that we take, He knew; He knows.
Surrender. Let Go. Be Held.
Those were the immediate words that flooded my mind; surrender, let go and be held. Even as the tears flowed, this adoption journey has not ever been ours, but always been His. This journey has been one that we have the privilege of riding because we said, and are still continuting to say yes.
_____________________ "...this adoption journey has not ever neen ours, but always been His..."
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So, then the question of, "What now?" of course came. Here is what we do know...
* "Rest in the Lord, wait PATIENTLY for Him..." Psalm 37:7
* He is a God, larger than these held onto beliefs, so we are keeping the door open to adopt through DHS.
* Truth: Private adoption is expensive. Even for local, domestic adoption it's around $24,000 give or take.
* He is a God, larger than money, larger than cost.
After thinking thought those things, and resting in the truth, we are, once again, stepping out in faith. Last week, we opened a savings account titled: Adoption
Money was deposited, and will continue to be placed into that account, specifically, and only for adopting our future son or daughter. This is an account that we believe God will use to glorify Him through bringing an adopted child into our home, family and arms. There is no specific timeline, there never really has been one, but some new steps have been taken. No doors have been shut, but perhaps a new one has been opened. Perhaps, it will be the door that we've been waiting for, the one that will help us continue our adoption journey as a family. Surrendering all; all for His glory.
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"...we are, once again, stepping out in faith..."
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There seem to be countless moments in each day that you have the choice to shower someone with grace, or cover them with pain. Many of these moments are small and fleeting, but some, depending on your choice, may have a lifelong impact. The thing is, this impact can be negative, but it can also be overwhelmingly, and powerfully positive.
Young lives are shaped by the grace that's shown them. They watch how the adults in their lives react towards each other. They learn how they should respond; even when the learned responses are wrong. The thing is adults make mistakes. The problem comes, when those mistakes effect the people around them. For thousands of innocent children, their lives will forever be changed due to the choices made by the very parents that were suppose to love them.
This is the hard reality when it comes to foster care and adoption. In order for a child to be removed from their birthparents, somewhere pain had to happen. Somehow, that child's view of grace was shattered or skewed. They've had to learn how to survive. In some cases, that can result in seeking love from anyone, while in other instances, it means a complete blocking of letting people in.
There is hope. True grace, God's grace, is mightier than sin, it's stronger than any pain. It doesn't erase it, but it covers it; it can make someone new. I've seen it happen. It is amazing. See, true grace can be played out in people.
People can display grace to others.
I saw this in the life of three year old Katie*. Sweet Katie was placed into a foster home. Her mommy and daddy weren't there, and now there were these new people. These people whispered in her ear that she's be safe, that they would be there always. But, even at the young age of three, Katie had already put up walls to protect herself. Those sweet words, were just words, and needed to be backed up with actions. I'm sure she must of had thoughts about if they would still be there if she misbehaved. Would they still say they loved her if she threw her food or wet the bed? Would they rock her to sleep, and hold her gently, or would she have to be so careful and quiet so no physical pain would come to her?
I met Katie at a Foster Parent Night Out, after she was placed in this new foster home. This home that would love her reguardless of her faults. That would teach her, and shower her with grace. That would attempt to break down those walls she had needed to construct, and show her unconditional God's love. Over the months, I watched as this quiet little girl learned to trust. She began to make eye contact; she began to smile.
On our final evening of the year, she was sitting on my lap, with her big brown eyes staring into mine. She grabbed my hand, smiled and just held on. As I looked into her eyes, I realized that I was face-to-face with grace. It had been played out right in front of me:
"And after you have suffered a little while,
the God of all grace, who has called you to his eternal glory in Christ,
will himself restore, confirm, strengthen, and establish you."
1 Peter 5:10
Restore. Confirm. Strengthen. Establish.
These are the steps that this foster family took. These are the steps that freed this little girl, and prepared her to trust again. These are the steps that transformed her into a different little girl, a little girl who won't stop talking, who smiles and who loves. These are the steps that will now help her to transition from being this family's foster daughter, to someone's adopted daughter.
Grace.
...
So thankful for this lesson I learned. I already am thoughtfully practing showing grace to my own children, and look forward to the day that we can shower this same grace and love on the child we adopt.
Last year, 11,238 children spent at least one day in some kind of foster care in Oregon (2015).
An average of 7,570 children were in foster care on a daily basis.
56.1% of these children were reunited with
their families.
A total of 814 children had adoptions finalized in 2015.
Information From: 2015 Child Welfare Data Book
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"...to look after
orphans...in their distress..."
James 1:27
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These are the numbers, these are the truths, these are children.
These are the children that we have been praying for specifically. Praying that one of them would come out of their brokenness, brokenness they did not ask for or seek, and find a new family through adoption. We have submitted our family for a handful of little lives, and have fervently prayed that regardless if they end up with us, that they would end up in a forever home.
The last two years, we've had the privilege of serving foster families, and foster kids through the programs, 'Foster Parent Night Out.' Once a month, we spend four hours on a Saturday evening, pouring love into the lives of foster kids local to the area. Their foster parents then get some time to spend together. It's a beautiful thing to witness each month. We've seen kids grow, change and become part of a family, due to living in a stable environment, some for the first time in their young lives. Perhaps the most encouraging thing we've witnessed getting to serve in this way, is the change in our own hearts.
We always knew we loved these sweet children. We don't view them as broken, their lives might be, but they are beautiful. We have the desire to adopt.
But, what do we do while we wait?
That is where the change came about. It's not about us. It's not about our feelings. It's truly about the children. That being said, starting in June, we are going to begin fostering children. More specifically, young children. We will be fostering children that have a higher potential to become adoptable.
There are no guarantees.
Yes, it will be hard.
But, it will be so worth it.
What we can guarantee, is that whether a child is in our home for one day, six months, or forever, they will know they are loved, they will know they are safe. Even though it may be hard, what these children have endured is far worse, and they won't have to endure it on their own. It will be worth it, not for what we can offer, or what we will gain, but because we will see little lives change for the better. It will be worth it because this might be how we meet our next child. What a blessing it would be to meet them, care for them and love them from the moment they come into care, from the moment they come into our home.
Regardless if we meet our next child through foster care to eventual adoption, or through adoption, we know this is the path we need to take for our family. It might seem scary to some, maybe even crazy, but honestly it used to seem that way to me too when I would see another family fostering. But it doesn't anymore. Which is why we are so confident in this choice. We aren't sure on how long, what it will look like or what children we will have, but we do know this is right where we are suppose to be.
We've all been there; in the wait. It's especially hard to wait when you're waiting for something good, something you can't do on your own. We are in the wait for our third child...and what a beautifully painful wait it is to wade through adoption.
adoption.
This past fall, we were selected to go to committee for a sweet, little, baby boy. Shortly after the committee met, we found out we were the family placed in second position. Second. Second is a hard place to be, when you could so easily picture what it would have been like if the decision had gone the other way.
Our hearts are overjoyed to know that this little one has a new forever home.
forever.
We couldn't have known the pain that would come though, from those words, "almost."
The tears came, and just flowed. It was confusing because their was pain, mixed with joy for this boy we had prayed would find his family. That prayer was answered. Praise God!
"Mom, I want you to put your tears away."
-Blake
Crazy thing is, this loss to us, of what could have been, means we are closer to finding our child.
I woke up this morning Saw a world full of trouble now Thought, how’d we ever get so far down How’s it ever gonna turn around So I turned my eyes to Heaven I thought, “God, why don’t You do something?” Well, I just couldn’t bear the thought of People living in poverty Children sold into slavery The thought disgusted me So, I shook my fist at Heaven Said, “God, why don’t You do something?” He said...
I'd love like I'm not scared Give when it's not fair Live life for another Take time for a brother Fight for the weak ones Speak out for freedom...
If not us then who..."
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adoption>>>
This post has been stirring in my mind, and my heart for a couple months.
I just didn't know how to put it into words.
Summed up: It. Is. Hard. Waiting.
Even as I sit here and write that simple thought, it's all I can write to summarize what my heart feels. I knew the emotions would come, and that they would be different than being pregnant. Goodness me, they are incredibly different. Maybe it's the fact that I'm "expecting" a child, but no one can physically see it. Or perhaps it's that, when I am asked, I don't have much news to share; or the amount of time to share exactly how I'm feeling. I think though, it boils down to the fact that I can't stop thinking. I can't stop wondering. I can't stop praying.
All while we're waiting.
It hurts to know there are so many children waiting for homes; and my home is waiting for a child. It also hurts that waiting is something that can feel so lonely at times, even when you're surrounded by people. Sometimes the very people that you thought would support you, are nowhere to be found, while surprise others seem to come alongside without your even needing to ask. Giving grace...taking grace...being thankful for grace.
The following pictures are me...I'm "expecting." Can't you see? Looking at it brings tears to my eyes because what you can't see is the growth of love for this child I don't even know yet. What you can't see are the hours of classes; the time spent preparing for our unknown future. What you can't see are the prayers for a child. A child who might feel alone, may be in an unsafe environment, who doesn't know that there is a safe home, a mommy and daddy, brothers who are waiting for them to come home. What you also don't know is, these pictures were taken months apart...
Waiting.
We are fine waiting, but sometimes it's hard to wait for something so good. It's hard to watch other families also waiting to adopt, waiting to meet the child that God has specifically chosen for their family. Adoption is all about waiting.
What I am so thankful for, is even in my impatience, I am being taught patience by a God is eternally patient with me each day. I am so thankful that it is not up to me to force the adoption process to proceed, because I know there is a God who already has it all figured out. I am thankful for the gift of adoption. That He chose me to be His, and that He doesn't judge my past, but only asks that I love Him and live for Him.
I am waiting, but I am oh, so thankful.
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"There's hope in front of me There's a light, I still see it..."
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2015 K-Love Fan Awards Song of the Year (by Anthem Lights)
"Father to the fatherless...God places the lonely in families..."
Psalm 68:5
From the time I was a little girl, I somehow knew what adoption was. My Barbie's had adopted children, and I always secretly hoped that my parents would adopt a big brother for me. As far as I know, I wasn't exposed to adoption specifically; had no friends that were adopted, or family taking that step. It was just something that was always on my mind, and slowly became part of my heart. When Jason and I were dating even, the topic of adoption was discussed between us, and only continued to become deeper as we started our own family.
"YOU are a helper of the fatherless..."
Psalm 10:14
What many people don't know, is that our adoption process has already been in "process" for almost two years. Back in May 2013 we made the first of many phone calls to our case worker to find out the initial steps we needed to take. Since then, we have really left this dream to adopt in the Lord's hands. We are confident that if we are to adopt, that He has the perfect child for our family. We are not rushing the process...not that you really can. We feel that if this is where our hearts are at, that it is going to happen in His perfect timing, not our own. There is a huge sense of peace that comes along with that; letting go.
"When I wait, You strengthen my heart."
Psalm 27:14
We also decided to adopt through DHS (Department of Human Services). This means that a child we adopt is coming out of the foster care system. This form of adoption required, and I am so thankful, many hours or training. I will write about that later on, but the training's were, and will be critical in knowing how to best care for and love the child that is placed in our home.
PROTECT + PROVIDE = LOVE
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Current Update: As of February 2015, we were re-certified, and our initial home study was re-activated for another year. We are able to "put in" for specific children if we choose. We are being very specific on the children we are putting in for, putting the needs of our two boys first, as well as our family in general.
May 29, 2013 (journal to our future child)
Adoption is something I always knew I wanted to do, but now we better know this was and is God's timing. Right now we are praying for your safety and health...We love you! Mom
If there was a picture that could sum up a moment in life, it could be crusty Mac & Cheese. I had just baked some fresh bread, well the bread machine had, and I had my favorite candle burning. Needless to say, the house smelled good. Maybe it was me trying to cover up the other "smells" that also seemed to keep 'popping' out that day too, but for the moment it smelled good.
As I walked out of the kitchen though, it hit me, I had two pictures, or points of view, I could choose to focus on today. One was clean, fresh and relaxing. The other was dirty, tasteless and stinky. Seems like an obvious choice which picture I or anyone would choose, but it's interesting how easy it is to pick the crusty over the delicious.
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"...I have set before you life and death,
blessings and curses. Now choose life..."
Deuteronomy 30:19 ________________
It's a choice. Each day, each moment, I have a choice as to how I'm going to view what is going on around me. Do I have to love the dirty and smelly, absolutely not, but I don't have to dwell in them. I also shouldn't ignore those things, because even if I wished they would just disappear, the stinky things of life are going to continue to happen. So, I can deal with the yucky stuff, and then spend my time dwelling the the yummy stuff; resting in the good.
So now I'm going to go clean up a baby, rinse off some crusty cheese, and take in some good.
If you're not careful this can happen, correction will happen, if and when you become a mom. I love that name, and all the many forms and tones it comes in. I dreamt of becoming a mom when I was little. Imagined all of the sweet snuggles, bath time fun and walks to the park. These dreams are now my reality, and I am so thankful for the little boys that changed my title and direction in life.
After adding in baby boy number two, I've learned some things already. I am surrounded by cars, trains, diapers and dirt all the time. My boys could care less if I've showered, painted my nails, exercised or eaten breakfast myself. The days go so fast, yet the hour before dad comes home seems to drag on. The moment they are resting peacefully in their rooms, I stop and scan the house...
"...Do I take a ' mommy moment,'
or do I cook, clean or complain."
It is in this moment a choice is made, do I take a 'mommy moment,' or do I cook, clean or complain. I'll admit, I often tend to lean toward the latter. I've realized even if dinner is ready, the house is clean and my mind is clear; if I haven't invested time in me, I'm no good. I've learned I need to fuel myself if I'm going to help my busy family run smoothly.
"If I haven't invested time in me, I'm no good."
I don't know why taking a moment for myself can be so hard. Perhaps it's because I enjoy putting others before me, but I know too that those same 'others' love me, and want me to be happy too. So I've been trying to be more diligent in taking time during the day to be at rest for me. Reading my Bible, drinking a coffee, while sitting down, putting on make-up, painting or writing, these all serve the same purpose. These are are MY moments, not theirs. I have learned its not being selfish or lazy to invest in me.
Even the woman described in Proverbs 31, after taking care of her family and home, also took care of herself. She spent time: weaving, cooking, gardening, exercising, sewing, giving, decorating, selling and studying God's word (Proverbs 31:10-31). I used to read through this section and think, "Man that's a crazy list. I don't have time for that." But the truth is, I want the result from living a life like she did, "She is clothed with strength and dignity; she can laugh at the days to come...Her children arise and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praises her..." (Pro. 31:25,28). She is living a life of peace and rest, and those living with her on a daily basis can see a difference in her. I want this too.
"These are MY moments, not theirs."
So now, everyday, I vow to take some time to fill myself up. Some days this might be only a few minutes, while other days (depending on nap time success...or not), it might be longer. The importance is not the length of time, but the intention behind the time I set aside. I vow to be intentional toward how I treat myself. If I take a 'mommy moment,' then everyone, not just me, will be positively affected. "Honor her for all that her hands have done..." (Pro. 31:31).
While I was sitting on the couch feeding my sweet two-month old baby, this song popped into my head. It was a song made popular by the 'Veggie Tales' movies; and the writers did their job well because it is still engraved in my brain. The thing is though, as I've lived more life, the fears and problems that I've watched family, friends and myself face are bigger than the fictional characters sung about in this song.
Even though these problems are so much bigger; whether physical, emotional or spiritual hurts; the truth is, is that God is bigger. Going through hard times in this life is a given; one truth that I wish weren't a reality. As a mother, I wish I could protect my boys from having to suffer any sort of pain or hurt. I wish I could foresee the pain that is coming ahead. Looking back though, over my own pain and struggles, I can clearly see that it was during those unknown times that I was brought closer to the Lord.
The trials that seemed to spring up in my own life, were not surprises to God. In fact, He knew they were coming, and is already waiting and ready to be there for me when the next one hits. He is bigger. He is all-knowing. He is God.
"The trials that seemed to spring up
in my own life,
were not surprises to God."
I do find myself wondering sometimes, "Why wouldn't He stop that from coming? Why did ____ have to endure that? I didn't ask for this. Why..." The conclusion that I've come to, is that sadly in this life I'm not going to necessarily understand or get answered the 'whys.' We live in a broken world where people make poor choices, we make wrong decisions and "good" people end up getting hurt. While those things are all true, God is bigger, stronger and has already overcome this world. He is bigger than the hard things I've already endured, and He isn't going to change when it comes to the things yet to come in my life. He has the power to turn a hurtful and dark situation into the light; He can make what the world intends for evil into good.
"God is bigger, stronger
and has already overcome this world."
I can't help but think of the story of Joseph in the Bible. A young boy, so despised by his own brothers that he was sold into slavery; while his own father believed he had been viciously killed. God could have left Joseph's story there. God could have said, "Well, that's a bummer, wish his brothers hadn't made such a bad choice." The truth is, Joseph had faith. He believed that even though his present situation looked bleak, that God was bigger, and could make 'good' come of such hurt. After years apart, when Joseph meets his brothers face-to-face he lets them know what he learned, "You intended to harm me, but God intended it for good to accomplish what is now being done..." (Genesis 50:20). Joseph trusted the Lord in the midst of heartache and pain; Joseph was blessed. God is bigger, and He is able to make good out of even the hardest and most painful situations.
"You intended to harm me,
but God intended it for good to accomplish
what is now being done..."
So thankful that each morning when I wake up, and each night that I go to bed that I am not alone. I have a God that is, and has fought for me. He is faithful and unchanging; even when the situations in life are not. He has the power to make good out of evil. I'm thankful that He is the one, "watching out for you and me."
This summer has seemed to fly by; the last seven weeks especially as my family grew to four. My days seem to slip by; making breakfast, changing diapers, changing clothes, playing cars, eating lunch, feeding a baby, attempting to get two naps lined up for a few moments of quiet, snack time, cuddling on the couch, making dinner, playing outside, going on a walk, giving two little guys baths, brushing teeth, reading a story and sending two kiddos off to bed. I get tired just writing it down, knowing tomorrow is going to be somewhat the same.
Even though it's physically and mentally draining, each night when they are both asleep I sit down and am thankful for the blessing of getting to be their mom. It is a hard job but one that I wouldn't want to trade for a executive position of a six-figure salary. The "night night, love you mommy," and the tiny baby smiles are all the payment I need to know I'm doing a job well-done. Those are also the things I cling to on the not-so-good days.
It was after a really fun day at the zoo with the four of us, that I realized something. God's love, and grace shine through my two sweet little boys. During the day, each animal that Blake saw brought such pure joy to his face, and that joy radiated through him throughout the day. That night as I finished feeding Easton, and looked down, he was completely at peace; all his needs met.
Pure Joy & Complete Peace
Praying that I too can learn to live with that same joy and peace in my own life. It's a daily battle; and some days a battle from minute to minute. I know that it would be so easy to give in and let the hurts and hard things of this world take over. To let the lies creep in that say, "I'm not good enough," that "I am failing," and that, "I don't have it all together."
Thankful to have a God who already conquered those lies and the pain and trials of this world. Blessed to know that this imperfect world is not my forever home, but that He has a perfect home waiting for me. That even when I may not feel joyful based on my current circumstances, I can choose to LIVE a joyful life, because He gave me this one life to live. When I feel my wants are not being met, I can choose to LIVE a content life, because He gave me so much.
I was greatly blessed over nine months ago when I found out I was pregnant, and would be a mom again. I was blessed eight months ago when I heard the sweet sound of a heartbeat. I was blessed five months ago when I found out I was having a son. But, the ultimate blessing was when I held my sweet Easton in my arms for the first time.
It all started Saturday morning at 5:30am. Friday afternoon I had had a routine check up at was at 2cm. Saturday I woke up and felt the first of many contractions, although I knew what I was feeling was not strong enough to do much. Throughout the day my contractions would come and go, but weren't getting stronger or closer together. Around four in the afternoon we went on a walk, and that seemed to get my contractions moving along a little more; between 5-8 min apart. After eating dinner, we chose to go get checked at the hospital just in case we were further along than we thought.
We got to the maternity triage, and were checked around 7:00pm. At that point I was at 4cm, but my contractions weren't consistent enough for them to keep me. So after walking the halls for an hour and being monitored, we were sent home with the goodbye from the nurse of, "See you later on tonight."
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We made it home around 9:30pm, and by ten I was laying in bed having intense contractions between 2-9 minutes apart. The "real" contractions had begun. These were strong ones that would last over two minutes at times, and often wouldn't actually come back down...I knew we needed to get to the hospital, and fast! Thankfully Aunt Carrie was already spending the night at our house to watch Blake, so we were able to leave for the hospital around 11pm.
Since it was past 'working hours' we had to check in though the ER...when they asked me what I was being seen for, I felt like the answer should be pretty obvious. Thankfully my answer of, "Active labor," was good enough to wheel me through a maze of hallways back to the Labor and Delivery unit. The same nurse 'welcomed' us back...although all I wanted was to get to our delivery room. After being checked a little after 11pm, I was at was at 6cm, and officially admitted to have my boy!
You would think walking a few doors down the hall wouldn't be so hard...but during that short FIVE minute walk my body dilated from six to ten centimeters...a pain I never could have imagined. My body would not stop shaking the whole time I was in labor...looking back, I would do it all again. Somehow the amazing anesthesiologist was able to get me a epidural in less than six minutes...something the doctor was very proud of; all I cared about was it worked, and worked fast. It was officially time to meet our newest little boy.
At 2:59am, after pushing for about 40 minutes, our sweet little Easton was born. One of the things I will never forget, is I was the one that got to pull him onto my chest. What an amazing feeling to hold your son and after so much pain, be the one that physically carries him into this world. Looking into his tiny face, I couldn't help but think how much he looked like me, and how 'big' is was...well lots bigger than his brother had been at birth.
Blake's first time meeting his little brother.
My heart was instantly so full; my family of three was now blessed beyond what I ever could have imagined to now be a family of four.
Zoo Trip - July 2014
The feelings of great blessings continued as Easton met his grandparents, aunts and uncles, cousins, but more importantly when he met his brother. Blake loved pointing out Easton's tiny face, fingers and toes...so many amazing memories to come watching these two grow as brothers and as friends.
Lasagna is a favorite meal that many families enjoy, including my own. But, when I tried to make it at home, it just never measured up to the ones I had ordered from restaurants. The frozen lasagna's, while convenient, were always soupy and thin, with little to no leftovers since they don't fill you up. Not to mention the fact that the ingredients in the frozen lasagnas leave much to the imagination. I had made lasagna in a pan before from scratch, but with all the steps and not ever having it turn out how I thought it would, I just didn't think that making my favorite Italian food at home was going to work for me.
Then I discovered making lasagna in my Crock Pot. So easy to make, and it is thick, tasty and there is always plenty for everyone to eat. Plus it is cheaper that buying a frozen one from the store!
Ingredients:
Crock Pot
Italian Sausage (1 lb.)
Spaghetti Sauce (one jar)
Italian Seasoning
Mozzarella Cheese (8-10 oz)
Ricotta Cheese (15 oz)
Lasagna Noodles (uncooked)
Average Cost = $11.00
Step 1: Cook the Italian Sausage, and drain any excess grease. Add in the spaghetti sauce, and mix.
Step 2: Combine the mozzarella and ricotta cheeses in a separate bowl. Once mixed, add in the Italian seasoning.
Step 3: Now you are going to start layering into your Crock Pot. Start by lightly spraying the pot, and then add in and spread out the sauce and meat mixture. Next place in a layer of the noodles. Remember that they do NOT need to be cooked. On top of the noddles spread a layer of the cheeses. Continue to layer: sauce, noodles and then cheese until you reach the end.
Step 4: Make sure that your top layer of noodles are completely covered with the cheese and sauce so they cook all the way through. Sprinkle some extra Mozzarella cheese of the top, and place the lid on the pot.
Step 5: Cook for 4 hours on HIGH or 6 hours on LOW (time may be different depending on your slow cooker, so make sure that you check as it is cooking) If it appears to be done, turn the hear down to 'keep warm,' until you are ready to eat.
Hope you and your family enjoy this meal as much as I know mine does!
Our family of three is soon to grow into a family of FOUR...hard for me to wrap my head around when I really stop and think about it. But, then when I think back two years ago, Jason and I didn't know the amazing gift we were being blessed with before we met Blake. Amazing to think that once again a tiny blessing is going to change our lives; change it for the better.
Blake Denver - 19 Months and Counting
Our little baby is no longer that, he is officially a TODDLER. We are so thankful for the sweet little boy that we get the privilege to be parents to. Currently Blake is learning new things ALL the time. He is to the point that sometimes he hears a word once and can say it. He is a master of walking, and now has moved onto running. I am in love with his silly personality, and how he enjoys sharing it with everyone around him... "Hi," being his favorite thing to say still.
Some of his newest accomplishments and loves include:
Favorite Toys: ANYTHING with wheels, stuffed animals and bath toys.
Favorite Foods: Chicken dipped in ketchup, waffles (his first word almost every morning), "cooookie," grapes and more...he is a GOOD little eater.
Words he has mastered recently : bubbles (anything with water), help, pop, ho-ho, baby and yeah!
He call pick-up trucks "papa"...since both his drive them.
Animals he can make the sounds of: dog, monkey and horse
When you ask Blake where his baby is, he might point to either his tummy or mommy's. :)
Eating on his own! He loves using a fork, and is starting to use a spoon better too.
He loves swim lessons. He know kicks, "jumps" off the side and blows bubbles.
He can point out people's: eyes, nose, mouth, hair, tummy, toes and fingers.
Baby Bernard #2 - 18 Weeks
Oh to be pregnant again...in some ways it's like I never forgot what it felt like, and then in other ways I feel like I am once again totally new at this. It has been crazy to watch this time around how fast my body "remembered" what to do, and how FAST my baby bump started growing. This pregnancy has been so much easier from a physical standpoint. I kept waiting for the morning sickness I endured with Blake to set in, but each morning I woke up intensely hungry, but not sick! That was a BLESSING considering I am now also running around after a very active 'big' boy.
We were able to keep our new little bundle a surprise until Christmas morning...something we had hoped to do with Blake, but it appears second time is the charm. We had our ultrasound wrapped in a frame for the grandparents to open...I think my parents faces sum it up perfectly. :) This new little baby is coming into such a wonderful family, and I know I am not the only one that cannot wait to meet this little guy or girl.
Grandpa and Grandma's surprised faces when they found out about Baby #2
Speaking of gender...we are having our ultrasound in a few weeks, and the following evening we are having a 'Gender Reveal Party.' This one will be a little different than Blake's, because this time Jason and I are going to find out right along with everyone else. :) Either way though, I am so thankful for this little one that is growing inside me, and am thankful for the baby brother or sister that Blake will soon have.
Taking JOY in the small things is something that I have really been trying to focus on the last few months. Life just goes by too fast, and if you aren't paying attention, you are going to miss out on some big, little things. Thankful that during this time of year we are reminded to be thankful...strange that sometimes we need to be reminded of that, but it is true we do.
I am very thankful for the big things like family, friends, our home, health and so many more, but there are so many other things that I am grateful for. Here are some of the recent things I have noticed:
The soft feel of cotton sheets at night.
When Blake wants to read a book he crawls up in your lap.
The sweet sound of cousins playing with each other.
A cup of coffee shared with a friend by the fireplace.
The smell of a newborn baby.
Chubby legs and big bellies.
The wind blowing the last leaves from a giant oak tree.
Babies speaking in their own language.
The smell of dinner cooking throughout the day.
Those are just a few of the moments I'm trying to remember and reflect on. Things so simple, and yet so important in my day. Take JOY today in the small things in your life...once you start looking for them you will be surprised how many you are able to come up with.
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