Have you ever gotten one of those emails? You know the ones that once you finish reading, your mind is blank, and all there is, is a giant question mark. We recieved one of those a couple weeks ago.
"...traditional adoption thought is that it's not best practice to place children for adoption in families with children close in age...I believe you have a lot to offer a child..."
There it was in black and white. Something we'd actually already been wondering about. Were we not being concidered because we already had children? Yes. My heart already knew that was the answer from some comments we'd heard previously, but to see it written was a shock. Our two sweet boys have walked this adoption journey the past two years with us. They haven't been a hidden part of our family, and they are valued members. Shock.
Then it hit me. This was not a shock to the Lord. The Daddy of all orphans, mommy's and daddy's; the Lord that is in control of each step that we take, He knew; He knows.
Surrender. Let Go. Be Held.
Those were the immediate words that flooded my mind; surrender, let go and be held. Even as the tears flowed, this adoption journey has not ever been ours, but always been His. This journey has been one that we have the privilege of riding because we said, and are still continuting to say yes.
"...this adoption journey has not ever neen ours,
but always been His..."
So, then the question of, "What now?" of course came.
Here is what we do know...
* "Rest in the Lord, wait PATIENTLY for Him..." Psalm 37:7
* He is a God, larger than these held onto beliefs, so we are keeping the door open to adopt through DHS.
* Truth: Private adoption is expensive. Even for local, domestic adoption it's around $24,000 give or take.
* He is a God, larger than money, larger than cost.
After thinking thought those things, and resting in the truth, we are, once again, stepping out in faith. Last week, we opened a savings account titled: Adoption
Money was deposited, and will continue to be placed into that account, specifically, and only for adopting our future son or daughter. This is an account that we believe God will use to glorify Him through bringing an adopted child into our home, family and arms. There is no specific timeline, there never really has been one, but some new steps have been taken. No doors have been shut, but perhaps a new one has been opened. Perhaps, it will be the door that we've been waiting for, the one that will help us continue our adoption journey as a family.
Surrendering all; all for His glory.
"...we are, once again, stepping out in faith..."