Open Your Heart>>>

Open your heart, He said.
Follow Me, He said.
Let Me be the one that guides.
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If you had asked me when I was days from turning 30, if I would have two young boys, be 30-weeks pregnant and caring for a newborn; all at the same time; I wouldn't have believed you. I wouldn't have thought I could handle it.

Truth. I can't handle it.
Truth. He can sustain, and He has got this.

If you had asked me even just a few weeks ago, I wouldn't have expected this. But, "My thoughts are nothing like your thoughts," says the LORD. "And my ways are far beyond anything you could imagine" (Isaish 55:8).

These ten tiny toes have altered my heart in ways that I never would have known. They have transformed our family, and taught us how to love in a new way.  This sweet little girl has forever changed us.

We don't know how long she will be a part of our family, but we have been, and are so thankful for the time we have had with her. 

She is a blessing. 
She is wanted. 
She is loved.

An Answer.

Truth.
Truth, today has been an emotional day.
Truth, God is still good.
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When you're walking through the adoption process, your heart is being stretched. Each step, each family's experience, is completely different, and yet so beautifully similar.  See adoptive families choose love. They are making the choice to love children that haven't experinced, or need to learn again what love is. "Every adoption is a miracle. After all, it is God working things out so that a hurting orphan finds his or her way into a family with open arms. It is the building of families in a way that allows God's plans to play out in a very real way" (A Treasury of Adoption Miracles).
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Every adoption is a miracle.

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This last week we asked you to pray. To pray a simple prayer. We prayed too. God answered; although He didn't answer perhaps in the way our hearts were hoping. Today we learned that a little girl will be placed in her forever home, just that, that home is not ours. Forever. We learned today that two twin boys will be going home to live with their older siblings, who have been previsouly adopted. They will be in a new forever home, but will grow up with some of their siblings. Forever.

That's beautiful.

That hurts.

But, that's God's plan.

We can totally see that. Although our hearts and home were ready and waiting for a, "You have been chosen," we believe that God answered our prayers, and the prayers of so many of you. 

These children are going home. 

Home. 

They are too young to comprehend their loss, but they will grow to learn all that they are gaining: security, love, family, siblings and hope. Because some couples chose to love, these little ones will now know what love is for the rest of their lives. So thankful for that.

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They are too young to comprehend their loss, 
but they will grow to learn all that they are gaining...
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After sharing this news with our parents, my dad reminded me that, "...you WERE selected twice before..." So amazengly true. Our hearts are waiting to welcome new children, but we are ever thankful for the sweet blessings of our children we get to shower with love each day. Our boys have taught us what it means to love, reguardless of how we feel physically or emotionally. We were chosen to be their parents, and for that we are so grateful. 

Truth. 

Truth, today has been an emotional day.
Truth, God is still good.

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A Treasury of Adoption Miracles by Karen Kingsbury

join in simple prayer >>>

"Not much happens in three years, and then I'm calling you a couple times in one week..."

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Those were the words our case worker spoke this last week over the phone. These could be potentially life changing words. Amazing words.

You see this last week, we have felt, and witnessed the power of prayer. Just a couple weeks ago we had recieved an email that made adoption seem like a dream that would have to wait for awhile. We started to pray, "God, Please move in a mighty way. Make something happen, so we know You are in this." He has done that. Within days of writing and praying about our situtation, and where our hearts were, crazy things have taken place. 

Crazy to us that is.

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"The fewer words, the better prayer." -Martin Luther

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Prayer is powerful. Prayer is mighty even when we don't really know what to pray. After getting off the phone, all my mind and heart could pray was, "Dear God, Ok You have got this. Help."

That simple prayer has been re-prayed over and over since then. And I am totally okay with that, beause I know that it's good enough. 

Help. Help us make the choices we need to this next week. Help by praying.

Although we can't share those choices that are pending right now, we ask that you would join us in simple prayer. We are confident that God is moving in a powerful and mighty way. He is bringing beauty out of broken lives, and we get to witness it firsthand reguardless of the outcome. 

Little kiddo's storys' are moving forward; and for that we are so thankful.

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"Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus." 

Philippians 4:6-7

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Waiting...if not us then who?

"Cause I hear a voice and it calls me redeemed,

when other's say I'll never be enough.

And greater is the One living inside of me,

than he who is living in the world.

 

I woke up this morning
Saw a world full of trouble now
Thought, how’d we ever get so far down
How’s it ever gonna turn around
So I turned my eyes to Heaven
I thought, “God, why don’t You do something?”
Well, I just couldn’t bear the thought of
People living in poverty
Children sold into slavery
The thought disgusted me
So, I shook my fist at Heaven
Said, “God, why don’t You do something?”
He said...

 

I'd love like I'm not scared
Give when it's not fair
Live life for another
Take time for a brother
Fight for the weak ones
Speak out for freedom...

 

If not us then who..."

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adoption>>>

 

This post has been stirring in my mind, and my heart for a couple months.

I just didn't know how to put it into words.

 

Summed up: It. Is. Hard. Waiting.

 

Even as I sit here and write that simple thought, it's all I can write to summarize what my heart feels. I knew the emotions would come, and that they would be different than being pregnant.  Goodness me, they are incredibly different. Maybe it's the fact that I'm "expecting" a child, but no one can physically see it. Or perhaps it's that, when I am asked, I don't have much news to share; or the amount of time to share exactly how I'm feeling. I think though, it boils down to the fact that I can't stop thinking. I can't stop wondering. I can't stop praying.

 

All while we're waiting. 

 

It hurts to know there are so many children waiting for homes; and my home is waiting for a child. It also hurts that waiting is something that can feel so lonely at times, even when you're surrounded by people.  Sometimes the very people that you thought would support you, are nowhere to be found, while surprise others seem to come alongside without your even needing to ask. Giving grace...taking grace...being thankful for grace.

 

The following pictures are me...I'm "expecting." Can't you see? Looking at it brings tears to my eyes because what you can't see is the growth of love for this child I don't even know yet. What you can't see are the hours of classes; the time spent preparing for our unknown future.  What you can't see are the prayers for a child.  A child who might feel alone, may be in an unsafe environment, who doesn't know that there is a safe home, a mommy and daddy, brothers who are waiting for them to come home.  What you also don't know is, these pictures were taken months apart...

 

Waiting.

 

We are fine waiting, but sometimes it's hard to wait for something so good. It's hard to watch other families also waiting to adopt, waiting to meet the child that God has specifically chosen for their family. Adoption is all about waiting.

 

What I am so thankful for, is even in my impatience, I am being taught patience by a God is eternally patient with me each day.  I am so thankful that it is not up to me to force the adoption process to proceed, because I know there is a God who already has it all figured out. I am thankful for the gift of adoption. That He chose me to be His, and that He doesn't judge my past, but only asks that I love Him and live for Him.

 

I am waiting, but I am oh, so thankful.

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"There's hope in front of me
There's a light, I still see it..."

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2015 K-Love Fan Awards Song of the Year (by Anthem Lights)

While I'm Waiting.

While cleaning the house today a song came on that spoke directly to what I have been thinking about over the past few years.  "While I'm Waiting," by John Waller, are lyrics to what my heart has been feeling. 

"I'm waiting

I'm waiting on You, Lord

And I'm HOPEFUL

I'm waiting on You, Lord

Though it is painful

But PATIENTLY, I will wait."

The thing is, we all are waiting for something. Whether it is waiting for a job, marriage, children or a cure for pain, we all wait. So many of my friends and family are waiting for the Lord to answer their hearts desire. Prayers that are so selfless, and so in line with what is pure and good. As people, it is hard to see why these prayers are not answered quicker, or even answered at all. I am starting to learn as I wait for His timing, His plan, that amongst the waiting, I don't have to wait to live for Him.

"I will move ahead, BOLD and CONFIDENT
Taking every step in obedience
While I'm waiting I will serve You
While I'm waiting I will worship
While I'm waiting I will not faint
I'll be running the race Even while I wait." 

The words, bold and confident, are so powerful. When we are wavering, He is strong. When we feel alone, He is there with His arms open. He is waiting for us to come to Him. My confidence does not need to stem from what I feel needs to happen, but rather, spring from what He is and has done in my life. 

While I rest in His timing, and His plan, I should not wait then to serve and worship Him. All that surrounds me; my family, friends, home and health are all held together by Him. 

His telling me to, "Wait," does not mean that He is silent, 

it might just be that He is wanting me to stop and lean on Him.

Winter

Well, it is about time that I post again...
First off Jason and I have a HUGE decision coming up soon with what we are going to be doing for the next couple years...Last Thursday we were offered two teaching job in Indonesia at the school Sekolah Pelita Harapan (http://www.sph.edu/). We have some time to think about what our final decision will be...but it does feel good to be wanted. :)Jason was offered a 7th and 8th grade humanities (History and English) position, and I was offered a 9th and 10th grade language arts position. We would be teaching at the school that is approximately 30 miles from Jakarta, Indonesia. It is a world-class Christian education facility, that offers education to Indonesian and expatriate children. The upper levels are taught using the I.B. curriculum. The term that we would be teaching there, would be for two years...which is where our thinking is getting stopped. It would be a wonderful experience, both personally and professionally. We have been praying and talking a lot about what we will end up doing, and we will keep everyone updated on what we finally decide.

Other than making that decision, Jason and I have been staying busy. We are both back in school so we can get our elementary teaching endorsements. We completed two graduate classes online in three weeks, and have one more class we are taking out at Corban. I am just finishing up my student teaching out at Faye Wright this week, and then Jason will start out there for the following 3-weeks starting next Monday. It has been a lot of fun getting to be there to see my dad everyday...but I remember why I don't like student teaching...lots of learning, but you are doing all the work for free...hopefully it will end up paying off in the end though. :)

We are also in a young marrieds small group through church. It has been so much fun getting to know so many other young married couples, and getting together with them outside of our group time. This Thursday we are going bowling with the group, so that should be really fun!

Well, that's all for now...please be praying for us as we make our decisions coming up here in the next couple of weeks. I know that God will take care of us no matter what, but I know we are anxious to start planning the next stage in our lives...whatever that may be :)

Fall is Here!

Jason and I are keeping busy subbing in many schools ranging from elementary to high school. Every job we get it sorta feels like we won the lottery or something since there are not many subs getting called from what we hear. Thankfully my parents have gotten our sub numbers out to many of the people they know, and we have landed some good jobs. Coming up in the next couple of weeks Jason will be the sub at Hammond Elementary where his aunt Rhonda also teaches. He will be there for 7 days...we are excited about that!! This coming week I will be subbing for my mom, which should go pretty good...hope I do a good job mom ;)
Speaking of teaching...Jason and I are currently in the process of applying to teach overseas at a school that Corban College partners with in.... INDONESIA! We are praying a lot about it, but with the lack of jobs for teachers here in Oregon, and the fact that we're only young teachers once...it's looking like we may be going. We still need to go through the whole applying process, but we are excited about the possibility. The school, Sekolah Pelita Harapan, is just outside Jakarta, Indonesia. We would have a paid salary, living allowance, paid housing, paid medical insurance, etc. One bonus we just heard about was that they will sponsor you financially if you want to get your master's while you are there...that was a pleasant surprise. The school has a 9:1 student to teacher ratio, and offers so many different things for the students to experience. There is an Olympic size swimming pool, family pool, 6 tennis courts, two indoor basketball courts, etc. I will tell you all more about this opportunity while we find out more about it too. I will try to include some pictures of the school soon...it's a pretty amazing school from what we have read and seen pictures of.

Jason and I have finally replaced his junker car!!! The old red neon was replaced by a maroon 2007 Ford Focus. We love it! It's so nice to have a car that you can count on to get you where you need to go! Now we just have the Jeep to keep working on...sadly the check engine light came on yesterday...o' car troubles. :)

That's all for now...but we are so thankful for the jobs that we have been given, and are excited to see where God will be taking us in the next few months :)