Mommy Moments.

"Uh-oh mommy...Mommy I'm hungry....

Mom, yucky...Mommy, mama, mom!"

If you're not careful this can happen, correction will happen, if and when you become a mom. I love that name, and all the many forms and tones it comes in. I dreamt of becoming a mom when I was little. Imagined all of the sweet snuggles, bath time fun and walks to the park. These dreams are now my reality, and I am so thankful for the little boys that changed my title and direction in life.

After adding in baby boy number two, I've learned some things already. I am surrounded by cars, trains, diapers and dirt all the time. My boys could care less if I've showered, painted my nails, exercised or eaten breakfast myself. The days go so fast, yet the hour before dad comes home seems to drag on. The moment they are resting peacefully in their rooms, I stop and scan the house...

"...Do I take a ' mommy moment,' 

or do I cook, clean or complain."

It is in this moment a choice is made, do I take a 'mommy moment,' or do I cook, clean or complain. I'll admit,  I often tend to lean toward the latter. I've realized even if dinner is ready, the house is clean and my mind is clear; if I haven't invested time in me, I'm no good. I've learned I need to fuel myself if I'm going to help my busy family run smoothly.

"If I haven't invested time in me, I'm no good."

I don't know why taking a moment for myself can be so hard. Perhaps it's because I enjoy putting others before me, but I know too that those same 'others' love me, and want me to be happy too. So I've been trying to be more diligent in taking time during the day to be at rest for me. Reading my Bible, drinking a coffee, while sitting down, putting on make-up, painting or writing, these all serve the same purpose. These are are MY moments, not theirs. I have learned its not being selfish or lazy to invest in me.

Even the woman described in Proverbs 31, after taking care of her family and home, also took care of herself. She spent time: weaving, cooking, gardening, exercising, sewing, giving, decorating, selling and studying God's word (Proverbs 31:10-31).  I used to read through this section and think, "Man that's a crazy list. I don't have time for that." But the truth is, I want the result from living a life like she did, "She is clothed with strength and dignity; she can laugh at the days to come...Her children arise and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praises her..." (Pro. 31:25,28). She is living a life of peace and rest, and those living with her on a daily basis can see a difference in her. I want this too.

"These are MY moments, not theirs."

So now, everyday, I vow to take some time to fill myself up. Some days this might be only a few minutes, while other days (depending on nap time success...or not), it might be longer. The importance is not the length of time, but the intention behind the time I set aside. I vow to be intentional toward how I treat myself. If I take a 'mommy moment,' then everyone, not just me, will be positively affected. "Honor her for all that her hands have done..." (Pro. 31:31).

Got a Job!

Well, it is official...I got a job back at Claggett Creek Middle School!  It became official yesterday, but I will be a full-time employee as the Library Media Specialist.  Although it is not a classroom teaching position, I am so looking forward to spending time with the students and staff that I got to know last year. 

It amazes me how God knows the plan, and when I left there in June I wasn't sure if I would even have a job come September, let alone a job where I get to make an impact in the lives of students each day.  Excited for what's to come, and thankful for what Jason and I have been blessed with for this coming school year.

New JOB!!

It is official...Jason officially has a teaching job!  It came completely out of the air, but what a great surprise it was.  I actually thought he was kidding when he told me since it was Saturday, and who gets a job offer on a Saturday?  Another reason it was so surprising is he hadn't interviewed for a teaching job since May...I think he made a pretty good impression. :) We had just got home from our co-ed softball tournament when Jason checked his messages. . .

He turned to me with tears in his eyes and said that he had been offered a job!  It is a part-time LRC teaching position (Learning Resource Center; special education).  He will actually be at the brand new middle school in West Salem, Straub Middle School. With special education there is always the possibility that it could become full-time, but as for now we are over the moon with what he has. 

Straub Middle School Under Contruction

Now he is officially in the Salem-Keizer School District in a permanent position, what a blessing.  So, if a full-time position opened he could just transfer.  Also, since he will be going to school until March to finish his special education teaching endorsement, part-time might be ideal.

Here is a link to pictures from the construction process: http://www.flickr.com//photos/salemkeizer/sets/72157626372612770/show/

It is amazing how my last post was about resting in the Lord...I honestly felt completely at peace about our whole job situation, and when we least expected an offer it came.  I am so proud of all the hard work Jason has done with school, work and guiding me in patience and waiting.  We are still praying that something will come for me, but as for now we are so grateful, thankful and excited about what this means for us and our future.

God is so good!

Restful.

That is the word that I would describe our summer.  With rest though comes the opportunity to really think about what the future may hold.  Since we both lost our jobs at the end of the school year due to budget cuts our futures are somewhat up in the air.

With all this uncertainty comes the nagging thought of, "Why?"  I am so thankful that God put into Jason and I the desire to teach and to want to impact people, but without teaching jobs set up as of yet, it makes me wonder what we will be doing in the next few months.  But, I did say that 'restful' was how I was feeling...and that is true.

The only way I can describe it, is that I know that we aren't doing anything wrong, it's not that we aren't trying or putting ourselves out there.  The truth is, is that our "perfect" plan for our lives is not the ultimate perfect plan of God.  So, I am resting in that truth.

I am resting in the fact that He has not let us slip though the cracks, but that He is just waiting to let us see the beautiful work He is going to do through us.  I am resting in the fact that I know we will be taken care of, and that we will not be without what we need.  Although we want jobs, something perfectly okay to want, it appears that may not be what we needed this summer.

It appears this summer we needed time to rest, or at least I did.  This summer is giving Jason time to go to school to complete his master's degree in special education; a passion and gift he has that constantly amazes me.  So, as the summer continues, we will not stop working hard, praying hard and will REST in the fact that God's plans are far greater than anything we could have come up with.

* * New Things * *

Time for a Bernard update....many NEW and EXCITING things going on in our lives... :)

I had my 24th birthday on February 22, and it was a week long celebration, which I was fine with.  We got to spend time with both sides of our family.  I felt very loved that's for sure.  Julie made me a quilt, which you can see I love. :)

My new quilt, made by Jason's mom.

Kinsey, Me and Mom at Mo's

I also got to go on the woman's retreat this year with Salem Heights church.  There were over 250 women on the retreat, which was amazing.  This year was especially fun since my sister was able to come.  I also stayed in a room with four other girls, and we had an adjoining room that had another four. :) It was so refreshing to get to spend the weekend learning about forgiveness, healing and resting in God's plan.  That is something that I need to remember constantly.

Me, Kinsey, Jincy, Stephanie, Natalie, Michelle and Caley

Me and Elle

Shopping!!!

God's amazing creation.

Next...Jason has a full-time teaching job to the end of the school year!! He is teaching special education at Waldo Middle School.  It is the job that he was a long term substitute teacher in since the middle of January, and it finally became a full-time teaching job. :) Although Salem-Keizer can't hire permanent teachers until this summer...what with so many budget cuts...we are hoping this could open up doors for him next year! :)  Here he is in his classroom...and the bulletin board that he and I made last week to track his student's progress. :)  I am so proud of him!

Mr. Bernard's classroom.

Iditarod behavior tracking board...I was pretty impressed.

Auntie and Uncle and our little niece!

And....Jason and I can now also be called an UNCLE and AUNT! Bryan (Jason's brother) and Charissa had their first baby girl, Cayden Elizabeth Ann Bernard. :)  She is VERY loved that is for sure, and such a sweet little baby.  I am SO thankful that we didn't choose to move far away...this is exactly what we didn't want to miss. :)

Sweet baby girl!

Little angel that we WILL spoil ;)

Next...we are looking forward to our spring vacation to MAUI!!! We leave this coming Friday to drive up to Seattle and fly out from there!  Update and many pictures from that trip to come soon. :)

New Stage

I am officially a teacher at Claggett Creek Middle School!  The position that I got in November was extended until the end of the year.  I have been hired as an employee of the district, which is great because hopefully that will mean that I will have a position in the coming school year.  I just had my last day as a barista at Starbucks last Saturday.  It was a bittersweet thing leaving, but it was something that I am grateful to close as a chapter in my life. It was a great job, and I learned a lot, but making coffee doesn't fulfill me like impacting and changing lives like teaching does.  As of right now though, I am so thankful for the job that I was given, and look forward to the coming year with the students that I have in my classroom.

Christmas Morning 2010

Jason just started his master's in special education at Portland State University.  He is taking two classes for the next two terms (one in Portland, one online).  This summer he will be going to school closer to full-time up in Portland, then it is just two more terms and he will have his endorsement.  I am so proud of him for going back and re-starting and re-focusing on something that he may have never seen coming.  I am so thankful for his hard work, and the desire that he has to take care of his family.  I know that if he becomes a special ed teacher, or a regular classroom teacher, he will make a huge positive impact on the kids that will be lucky enough to have a him as their teacher.

Other than my new job, and Jason going back to school we have been staying busy.  We got to spend a lot of time with friends and family, and with the new direction in both our lives it looks like we will get to do that more often now.

Last Look at Christmas 2010 :)

That's all for now :)

New JOB!!!

I have a new job!  I was officially hired last week, and today was my third day of teaching at Claggett Creek Middle School in Keizer.  I am so thankful for this opportunity, and although the last week has been crazy busy, and everyday comes with new challenges, I am so thankful.  I am hired at this point up to winter break, with the possibility that the job could be extended to the end of the school year.  Only time will tell, but for right now, I am a TEACHER :).

Here is a picture of the school...if you look to the third story on the top far right side, that is my classroom. :)  I have been working during my prep and before and after-school getting the classroom to feel like my own.  The teacher that was in there left a little over a month ago, so the room was in chaos to say the least.  I was told to box up and remove anything that I wanted, and to think of the room as my own...so I have been, which I love :)  I redid the bulletin boards today (I put some pictures of my classroom below), and plan on organizing some more.  The learning curve has been pretty steep...conferences are in less than two weeks, so I have been attempting to get some grades for the students...it's a lot of work, but it is so comforting to know that I will be there tomorrow, and the day after, and the day after...

Board all about me :)

Room 300

Jason is also getting started on his new journey...this Wednesday he has his interview at Portland State University for the Special Education program.  If he gets in, he will start classes in January, and will complete the program the following summer.  It is a program designed for teachers that are working already to add the endorsement.  When he is done with the program he will only need a few more credit hours to complete his master's.

So excited to get out on the ice!

Serious.

Jason and I have also been busy helping out with the middle school youth group at our church this year.  We are working with students that go to Judson and Walker.  I am diffidently getting my fill of middle school :)  We call the small groups D-Teams ) devotional teams. My D-Team got to go to the pumpkin patch together.  They crack me up, and have such amazing hearts that desire to please and serve.  We also went "Broom-Balling" with the mid-high up in Portland on the ice!  That was a lot of fun...I was shocked that I didn't fall the whole time :)

Not serious.

Judson/Walker D-Team

Cuddle time :)

Needless to say, we are so thankful for where we are, and are looking forward to what is going to come in the future. :) 

Extreme Home Makeover

Well, it back to subbing for Jason and I, and we have been busy already this year with sub jobs.  Last year we only got about one sub job each in the month of September, and already I've had three (one more already scheduled), and Jason has had five (two more scheduled).  That is a blessing considering we have not been able to save any of the money we have made lately working our part-time jobs.  Although we were anticipating, and hoping this year was going to be drastically different with job (full-time teaching jobs) we are thankful for what we do have and the tentative plan for our near future.

In January Jason will be starting classes to gain his special education teaching endorsement that will eventually turn into a master's degree in special education.  He will be going to school part-time at Portland State.  He is excited about what's to come; and teaching special education is something that I know he will excel at.  God has gifted him in the areas of patience and flexibility...very important and essential for teaching in that specific area.  Although it will take him a little over a year to gain the endorsement, he will only be a few classes shy of gaining his master's degree when the program ends.  Getting his master's done this soon was not originally on our radar, but it is exciting to think that he will have that done and out of the way before we have kids and our lives get even busier.

Recently I was able to help out at the Extreme Home Makeover that took place at the Deaf School here in Salem.  I took sign language in high school and so I took trips with my class to the school before the make-over.  I also went through the haunted house with friends a few years ago before the total re-do....I must say I was scared walking through the haunted house when the lights were on!  It was so much fun working out there with my dad and the other hundreds of local people that took time out of their own lives to impact the lives of others.  It was neat to look around at midnight and see all the smiling hard-working people.  It was one of the most amazing and humbling experiences I have had.
 

Just a glimpse of the haunted house....amazing all that they can do in a week!

My dad and me :)

 Jason has also been playing on a softball team with some of his college friends and his dad, my dad and his friend's dad.  They have been playing softball pretty consistently since April...lots of games.  Recently they had a tournament up in Washington....they ended up doing pretty well, and seemed satisfied with their result.  It always amazes me how caught up in a game I will get...they can get pretty "intense"... :)

Tired out after a lot of softball games :)

"You are still only subbing?"

Well, the school year is almost done, and we are still in the same spot when it comes to teaching jobs for the future. With school district's budgets being stretched there has been a freeze put on the overall hiring process. Jason is doing a lot better at being open minded about our situation...it is hard still waiting. I know that God has great things planned for us, but it sure is hard waiting to see what those things are.

Lately I've been asked this question over and over, "You are still only subbing?" Let me be honest here for a second...there are two words in that short question that have me wondering. First off, 'still.' It is diffidently not our first choice to be substitute teaching. But, it is a job where we get to use the degrees that we went to four plus years of school for. It is one of the least appreciated and challenging jobs I have ever done. You can't be nice it seems or the students walk all over you. So, no we are not 'still' subbing, we are subbing.

Secondly, comes the word 'only.' Again this goes back to the idea that we are choosing to sub rather than have our own classroom (completely untrue). Jason actually had someone ask him if he was taking it "easy," and "just subbing." The reality is, that even though the 'experts' promise more jobs, with each job we apply anywhere from 100-400 other people also applying. In fact this year it has been rumored that many principals won't even get a choice in who they hire; districts will simply move teachers around instead of hiring new. Also, we are not 'only' subbing. We each have had multiple weeks where we work over 50 or 60 hours...I try not to think about the amount of work we are working versus the monetary gain we are able to make.

I am so thankful for my strong, level headed husband, that does not let life's curve-balls strike him down. When I am feeling discouraged he is right there to point me back to the Word, and the promises that Christ made to me, that ALL things will work together for good. I realize that I need to stop waiting for the good and notice the good all around me.

Just a few of the things I am thankful for:

P90X

Well, I don't know if many of you have heard of P90X, but it is a at home workout program that promises to get you into shape in 90 days. Jason and I just completed our first week of working out on it last night....and I LOVE it! Each workout is about an hour long, and when you get done you are tired, pumped and sweaty! That's how I know it is working. Each morning after working out a new muscle is sore, but again that lets me know that I am working hard. I can already tell a physical difference just after the first six days. It's fun too because Jason and I get to do it together. There was one time last week where we were both laughing so hard during the workout because we knew we looked ridiculous trying. I wouldn't want to do it with anyone else. :) I will keep you posted with our updates as we continue on in our second week of P90X.

Other than that we have been keeping ourselves VERY busy subbing...almost too busy working if you ask me. Jason was a P.E. teacher for three weeks while the teacher was out with his new baby. Jason loved it, and I know it was hard for him to go back to teaching in the classroom. My dad was very helpful when it came to giving Jason advice about teaching P.E....he's been doing it for 30 years so we figured he had some good ideas :) I on the other hand, have been doing the majority of my subbing at Wright Elementary, the same school my dad teaches at. Last week I had 60 hours of work in total between my subbing and Sbuxing...same thing this week. When is summer?

Starbucks

As of tomorrow I will officially have my ONE year anniversary at Starbucks...knowing that sure makes me feel like the year has gone by way too fast! Who would have thought that after I graduated from college...I would not be able to even get more than one interview in my job field, but would be continuing on in my carrier as a barista :) I must say though, that I am so thankful for my job, and love all the wonderful people I get to work with and serve coffee too :) Here is to another year? Here is to the future :)