Face-to-Face with Grace.

There seem to be countless moments in each day that you have the choice to shower someone with grace, or cover them with pain. Many of these moments are small and fleeting, but some, depending on your choice, may have a lifelong impact.  The thing is, this impact can be negative, but it can also be overwhelmingly, and powerfully positive.

Young lives are shaped by the grace that's shown them. They watch how the adults in their lives react towards each other. They learn how they should respond; even when the learned responses are wrong. The thing is adults make mistakes. The problem comes, when those mistakes effect the people around them. For thousands of innocent children, their lives will forever be changed due to the choices made by the very parents that were suppose to love them.

This is the hard reality when it comes to foster care and adoption. In order for a child to be removed from their birthparents, somewhere pain had to happen. Somehow, that child's view of grace was shattered or skewed. They've had to learn how to survive. In some cases, that can result in seeking love from anyone, while in other instances, it means a complete blocking of letting people in.

There is hope. True grace, God's grace, is mightier than sin, it's stronger than any pain. It doesn't erase it, but it covers it; it can make someone new. I've seen it happen. It is amazing. See, true grace can be played out in people.

People can display grace to others. 

I saw this in the life of three year old Katie*. Sweet Katie was placed into a foster home. Her mommy and daddy weren't there, and now there were these new people. These people whispered in her ear that she's be safe, that they would be there always. But, even at the young age of three, Katie had already put up walls to protect herself. Those sweet words, were just words, and needed to be backed up with actions. I'm sure she must of had thoughts about if they would still be there if she misbehaved. Would they still say they loved her if she threw her food or wet the bed? Would they rock her to sleep, and hold her gently, or would she have to be so careful and quiet so no physical pain would come to her?

I met Katie at a Foster Parent Night Out, after she was placed in this new foster home. This home that would love her reguardless of her faults. That would teach her, and shower her with grace. That would attempt to break down those walls she had needed to construct, and show her unconditional God's love. Over the months, I watched as this quiet little girl learned to trust. She began to make eye contact; she began to smile.

On our final evening of the year, she was sitting on my lap, with her big brown eyes staring into mine. She grabbed my hand, smiled and just held on. As I looked into her eyes, I realized that I was face-to-face with grace. It had been played out right in front of me:

 "And after you have suffered a little while, 

the God of all grace, who has called you to his eternal glory in Christ, 

will himself restore, confirm, strengthen, and establish you."

1 Peter 5:10

Restore. Confirm. Strengthen. Establish.

These are the steps that this foster family took. These are the steps that freed this little girl, and prepared her to trust again. These are the steps that transformed her into a different little girl, a little girl who won't stop talking, who smiles and who loves. These are the steps that will now help her to transition from being this family's foster daughter, to someone's adopted daughter. 

Grace.

...

So thankful for this lesson I learned. I already am thoughtfully practing showing grace to my own children, and look forward to the day that we can shower this same grace and love on the child we adopt. 

*Her name was changed to protect her.

While we're waiting...

"every good and

perfect gift,

is from above..."

James 1:17

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Last year, 11,238 children spent at least one day in some kind of foster care in Oregon (2015).

An average of 7,570 children were in foster care on a daily basis.

56.1% of these children were reunited with their families.

A total of 814 children had adoptions finalized in 2015.

Information From: 2015 Child Welfare Data Book

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"...to look after

orphans...in their distress..."

James 1:27

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These are the numbers, these are the truths, these are children.

These are the children that we have been praying for specifically. Praying that one of them would come out of their brokenness, brokenness they did not ask for or seek, and find a new family through adoption. We have submitted our family for a handful of little lives, and have fervently prayed that regardless if they end up with us, that they would end up in a forever home.

The last two years, we've had the privilege of serving foster families, and foster kids through the programs, 'Foster Parent Night Out.' Once a month, we spend four hours on a Saturday evening, pouring love into the lives of foster kids local to the area. Their foster parents then get some time to spend together. It's a beautiful thing to witness each month. We've seen kids grow, change and become part of a family, due to living in a stable environment, some for the first time in their young lives.  Perhaps the most encouraging thing we've witnessed getting to serve in this way, is the change in our own hearts.

We always knew we loved these sweet children. We don't view them as broken, their lives might be, but they are beautiful. We have the desire to adopt. 

But, what do we do while we wait?

That is where the change came about. It's not about us. It's not about our feelings. It's truly about the children. That being said, starting in June, we are going to begin fostering children.  More specifically, young children.  We will be fostering children that have a higher potential to become adoptable. 

There are no guarantees. 

Yes, it will be hard.

But, it will be so worth it.

What we can guarantee, is that whether a child is in our home for one day, six months, or forever, they will know they are loved, they will know they are safe. Even though it may be hard, what these children have endured is far worse, and they won't have to endure it on their own. It will be worth it, not for what we can offer, or what we will gain, but because we will see little lives change for the better. It will be worth it because this might be how we meet our next child. What a blessing it would be to meet them, care for them and love them from the moment they come into care, from the moment they come into our home. 

Regardless if we meet our next child through foster care to eventual adoption, or through adoption, we know this is the path we need to take for our family. It might seem scary to some, maybe even crazy, but honestly it used to seem that way to me too when I would see another family fostering. But it doesn't anymore. Which is why we are so confident in this choice. We aren't sure on how long, what it will look like or what children we will have, but we do know this is right where we are suppose to be.

Crusty Cheese.

If there was a picture that could sum up a moment in life, it could be crusty Mac & Cheese. I had just baked some fresh bread, well the bread machine had, and I had my favorite candle burning. Needless to say, the house smelled good. Maybe it was me trying to cover up the other "smells" that also seemed to keep 'popping' out that day too, but for the moment it smelled good.

As I walked out of the kitchen though, it hit me, I had two pictures, or points of view, I could choose to focus on today. One was clean, fresh and relaxing. The other was dirty, tasteless and stinky. Seems like an obvious choice which picture I or anyone would choose, but it's interesting how easy it is to pick the crusty over the delicious.

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"...I have set before you life and death, 

blessings and curses. Now choose life..." 

Deuteronomy 30:19
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It's a choice. Each day, each moment, I have a choice as to how I'm going to view what is going on around me. Do I have to love the dirty and smelly, absolutely not, but I don't have to dwell in them. I also shouldn't ignore those things, because even if I wished they would just disappear, the stinky things of life are going to continue to happen. So, I can deal with the yucky stuff, and then spend my time dwelling the the yummy stuff; resting in the good.

So now I'm going to go clean up a baby, rinse off some crusty cheese, and take in some good.